this is a multi-topic blog post... woahhhhh. never seen before. i'm gonna try categorizing this to the best of my ability

i. speaking of organizing... for like the past two years or so, i've always had this need to do something in a particular order or on a particular day, sorta in an organized weekly schedule. for example, wearing a shirt on a particular day or doing somethign random... also on a particular day. how fucking particular can this get?! not to mention i've had this way of thinking and it (randomly) started when i was nine, it just didn't bother me as much as it did back then. i had to scratch the back of my knee whenever i thought about a pentagram symbol or else i thought i was gonna die and go to the seventeenth circle of hell.why? no idea. does this mean anything? i don't know!!!!!

ii. okay i logged back into tomodachi life. after like... three days of not playing? couldn't keep track... two of my miis fucking divorced. mii one was thinking of divorcing mii two waaaaaay before it was finalized. i frantically set their relationship status to statuses. that didn't change anything... goodbye..... uGH!!!

iii. i don't like how quickly tomodachi life: LTD fell into the route of "decorating game with slice of life aspects" like animal crossing has. i was very excited for this game especially because i played the OG tomodachi life and i really liked how "lively" it felt... if that makes sense. i played the new version... and liked it... and continued liking it for a month... then stopped playing it. i guess my issue with both LTD and ACNH is that the customization is randomly such a crucial part of the gameplay. i should be able to play it just fine without worrying about customizing every thing provided to me (and i have! don't get me wrong!) but like... it feels like i HAVE to build and create and customize in order to get some sort of enjoyment from these games, since talking to the islanders and seeing them interact, while fun, very quickly becomes boring after a while. but i dunno. those're just my thoughts...

from: @atteliere

high school... yaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy

i'm so drained... it's already the second day of school and the first official day of classes, and yet i feel so incredibly tired. a change of pace is nice. summer could've been longer, though. regrettably speaking, it's been a couple of weeks since i've last spoken to my friends outside of real life. FUCK!!! i haven't even talked to them that much IN real life. lol.

side note: i'm also trying to change one of my courses from photography to the one singular graphic design-related course in school. przaying to god it happens, i've been practically daydreaming about toying around with design applications in the comfort of my school... the one time i get to use ad*be products... i only just found out about it on the first day. i'm literally going ona tangent and i need to sleep before 11:30 pm

from: @atteliere

september is inching closer and closer, which can only mean one thing... yeah i'm a student #whowouldaguessed. i'm gonna be a lot more busier in the coming months, so unfortunately i won't be able to update more often...

unsurprisingly, atticus is a very indecisive, very sporadic yet very impulsive dude. i'm already thinking of retheming atteliere in favour of the "corporate grunge" design movement, because autumn is right around the closer. i think it 1. it fits autumn more; i associte autumn with gritty, dirty aesthetics and warmer colours. and typewriter typefaces... and 2. i love this design style! i love love love it, but i just can't seem to replicate it. it just LOOKS time consuming. i dunno, the inability to retain an aesthetic / theme, especially during seasonal changes, has been present all throughout my life, so... who knows. atteliere v2 is coming closer than you think. if i don't get beaten to death by academics and burnout, that is!!!

update: i've decided to loosely design my other website in the corporate grunge vein.

from: @atteliere

and baby's first formal blog post. well yes. if you're keen, you may have noticed my soft launching of a generalized anxiety disorder AND social anxiety not too long ago. thank god this happened, it brought some sort of ending to that part of my life which i will NOT be getting into because i do not plan on revealing my full medical history on the internet to strangers... but that's besides the point. finally getting answers to (what has been) a torturous two or so years has been nothing but helpful in hindsight, so. thank god for that.

having social anxiety has fucked up my interactions for better or for worse... but it is something that happens to a lot of people, so i dunno why i'm singling myself out now. to keep it short and sweet and vague as hell, i've always been feeling a sense of outcast-ness / lingering and not "fitting in" with my friend group, even though we are, in fact, very likeminded and tight-knit. i guess comparison stole every ounce of joy left in my mind for the past couple months. it got so bad to the point where i would yap nonstop about my mental issues and i was the topic of conversation for some of my friends without me knowing. it was from a place of concern, and in hindsight i totally understand, so i did have to get up and see a psychologist. ffwd to right now. as i'm typing this, i met up with them for the first time in a while! got a really bad anxiety attack the second i saw their faces, though. booooooo. but if it weren't for that, i would've left way earlier and had never gotten a chance to have a natural, laid back conversation with them, and i wouldn't have cleared the imaginary tension between me and my friends. god bless that for happening. i can finally feel at peace knowing that i've regained trust, even just a tiny bit.

(this is what happens when you have a cognitive behavioural therapy workbook assigned btw. #gomen.) ok bye

from: @atteliere

rewriting this post to announce that my blog is here! woohoo. it kinda amazed me how quickly i whipped the layout of this up, but considering how i stole this layout off of the homepage... if you couldn't tell... of course. sorry to disappoint. anyways. time to actually write!

the last week or so of summer break ends this saturday. quite anxious, to be honest, especially considering how (to me) august felt so short and yet a million things happened in the span of this month. whatever. school is starting, so unfortunately, updates to this very blog will become less and less frequent... or not! maybe. if i experience burnout from this site, i might as well put in effort to update this section at the very least. lets hope this doesnt happen #fingerscrossed but in all honesty it WILL lmao.

from: @atteliere